“I’m spiritually offline.”

🎴

✨ Description:
There comes a time in every soul’s journey when you simply must say:
“Nope. Not doing this ascension crap today.”

You’ve already aligned your chakras this week (twice).
You’ve journaled your truth, burned sage until your neighbor called the fire department, and forgave someone who didn’t ask.

And now?
You’re done.

Today you are a walking “Out of Office” reply.
No messages from the beyond.
No insights.
No downloads.
Just you, your tea, and an overwhelming desire to not spiritually engage with… anyone.

Even Source can wait.

🔮 Mini RITUAL: The Blessed Breakdown Pause

What you need:
📴 A phone in Do Not Disturb mode
🧦 The world’s coziest socks
🛋️ A strategic collapse on the nearest soft surface
📚 A book that has zero life lessons (bonus if it’s trashy fiction)
🍜 A snack shaped like your mood: round and floppy

Declare aloud:

“I am a divine being, but also… I’m tired.
Today, I reject cosmic productivity. I’m vibing with rest.”

Proceed to ignore everything with spiritual elegance.
Congratulations — you’ve reached Enlightened Apathy™.

🛸 Mantra of the Card:
“I am offline.
My aura is in sleep mode.
Please do not attempt to activate this vessel without caffeine and a hug.”

✨ Namaste, but don’t touch me ✨