🌀

🧼 You decide to do a full energy cleanse.
🌕 Moon water? Check.
🧂 Salt? Himalayan, obviously.
🔥 Sage? Burnt. Almost burnt the curtains too.

🌬️ You open the windows. 🧘‍♀️ You open your chakras. 🎶 You open your Spotify playlist titled \”Vibrations Only\”.

🔮 You say:
“I release all that no longer serves me.”

🌌 And the Universe says:
“Cool. Say goodbye to your keys, your plans, your identity, and your favorite snack.”

☁️ You feel lighter.
🕳️ Too light.
🗓️ You forget what day it is.
🥄 You stare at a spoon for five minutes.
👗 You no longer relate to your job, your clothes, or your birth name.
📱 You try to call a friend but forget who they are.
🕊️ You’re free.
👖 But also, where are your pants?

📲 You text your spiritual coach:
\”Is it normal to feel like a floating fern with abandonment issues?\”

🎙️ They reply with a voice note:
“Good. You’re ascending.”

🧽 Moral?
Sometimes when you cleanse your energy,
the Universe cleans the rest — just to be thorough.