Because broomsticks are outdated and teleportation is overrated.

Welcome to 5G Witch Physics — a subversive, semi-serious, semi-quantum, semi-wtf miniseries born at the intersection of mysticism, rebellion, and unlicensed metaphysics.

Here, you’ll learn:

  • How to travel without a suitcase (or a body)
  • Why teleportation through dreams is more sustainable than planes
  • What happens when a spell hits a particle
  • How to fold your consciousness like a napkin and toss it into another timeline
  • And why witches make the best quantum physicists (spoiler: it’s the hats)

This is not your average enlightenment.
This is 5G. Without cancer. Without subscription. Just upgraded awareness.

Stay tuned for:

  • 🌀 Episode I: How to Travel Without a Suitcase or a Body
  • 🌙 Episode II: Teleportation Through Dreams — A Beginner’s Manual
  • 💥 Episode III: Quantum Spells Gone Wrong (and How to Pretend You Meant It)

“If Schrödinger had a familiar, it would definitely be a black cat named Paradox.”

Seriously Ridiculous. Dangerously Enlightened. Probably banned in six dimensions.