[Scene: Spiritual Office — ticket numbers, plastic chairs, awkward silence.
Marit walks in wearing sweatpants, with a dog perched on her hip.]

😇Clerk (Archangel Stan):
— Good morning. Purpose of visit?

💫Marita:
— Yes. I’m here to report that reality doesn’t align with my inner light.

😇Clerk:
— Have you tried clearing your aura and rebooting your karma?

💫Marita:
— Yes, with tomato soup and Netflix.

😇Clerk (makes a note):
— Excellent. Classic combo.
Now tell me, are you experiencing any synchronicities?

💫Marita:
— Only when I go to the bathroom and my mom calls.

😇Clerk:
— That checks out. Mothers have classified access to the dimension of passive-aggressive telepathy.

😇Clerk (reading from monitor):
— I see here a karmic entanglement with someone named… “Christopher, past life: jam merchant.”

💫Marita (sighs):
— I knew that strawberry jam felt emotionally charged.

😇Clerk:
— You have three options:

  1. Decline and return to Earth as a seagull.
  2. Accept and complete the lesson.
  3. Request coffee with sarcastic coding.

💫Marita:
— I’ll go with number 3. Double laughter, no karmic grounds.

[😇Clerk presses a button — a mug drops from the sky, labeled:]
“I’M JUST HERE TO SHINE” ☕✨

[Scene fades out… Marita walks away. The clerk is left alone and mutters:]
😇Clerk:

— And once again, she passed through the system without ticking any boxes.
A true soul.