Category Seriously Ridiculous
I Did a Guided Meditation… and It Guided Me to the Fridge
Moral
Gratitude isn’t about pretending everything’s fine.
It’s about saying thanks even when you want to scream into a banana.
“Do you meditate?”
“Well, I sit on the bathroom floor thinking about murder and wondering if God also rolls His eyes sometimes.”
You wake up early.
You feel ready. Determined.
Today you will radiate peace.
You light your candle, hold your crystal, and whisper:
“I am calm. I am grounded. I am peace.”
If you have — welcome to the club. Either way, you’re ahead of those still pretending to enjoy meetings.
Moral of the story?
Don’t force your inner child to be an adult.
Sometimes it just wants to chill with ice cream and not be fixed.
Sometimes abundance arrives as a lesson with late fees.
You wake up in the morning with a sacred intention: today you become an enlightened being. Everything is ready. Palo santo, candles, that one crystal you don’t know where it came from.
